Someone keeps blocking the toilet at work. If you insist on eating a family pack of dairylea & raw mince meat from the cost-cutter discount section, washed down with a pint of Worcestershire sauce every meal time please be considerate to others and remove your Jackson Pollock homage. Dick.
No-one wants to see it. It's disgusting. Once is bad enough, especially in a public place like work; but doing it twice in two weeks is just stupid. What's even worse is that you don't even attempt to clean up after yourself. This gets me mad.
I'm a once a day man. Clockwork. I enjoy this time. I've got a football game on my phone, & I've managed to take Sweden quite far in the World Cup. Next game is against Portugal who managed to beat England so it's a big game. I like playing a half whilst on the loo, it's my escape. This is where trouble occurs. If I walk into a cubicle and I'm greeted with a poo fountain I can't go. Not even in the next cubicle. Why? Because if I go in the next cubicle, I will spend a little more than 5 mins trying to get Ibrahimovic to pull Portuguese pants down. Then when I return to my desk, the vigilant will have noticed I've been away for longer than a wee would take. THEN they might go to the loo and see a toilet paper-mache statue peppered with shit & assume it was me. I can't live life like that. No.
Continuing on from this, I work in a large office. I was the only one in the gents, washing my hands, when in walks one of the bosses. We acknowledge each other & he walks into the cubicle with the fecal shrine in. I know what he is thinking. I can no longer look at him. In fact, I can no longer work here. I quit because someone decimated a toilet. Fuck you.
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